then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
Or I could just call this the guilt post. Or the too much thinking post.
I have been doing alot of thinking lately about exactly why I procrastinate. I have had a long and deeply unsatisfying relationship with procrastination and wasnt sure exactly why I do it. I am not sure I have figured it out either, I have a feeling the reasons are dependant on what I am procrastinating about. Or maybe I dont want to figure it out yet.
My way of "dealing" with anything like this is to become VERY introspective (if you knew me I am thinking that you would feel this is odd and against nature!). So I hide. I know I hide so I tell myself it is ok to hide, I just acknowledge that some day I have to face it, whatever it is.
And so I have begun a process of "outing" myself.
Example 1. I hate cleaning (hello who does really like it??). What makes it funny is that I am good at it!! Anyway, my house is clean, just untidy. Or rather it was, it is now looking pretty good. The reason? A few weekends ago I refused to make any plans with friends so that I couldnt make any excuses to NOT clean & tidy. What made this time different is that I also admitted to a friend that I not only had an untidy house, but exactly how I managed to avoid thinking about cleaning & tidying it. It felt oddly liberating, admitting to a very successful procrastinating technique. Admiting how I hide things from others and most importantly myself.
How do I hide thigs from myself? The technique I use goes something like this. Picture me, hoping from foot to foot, fingers in ears and eyes tightly closed, while singing "I'm not listening, I'm not listening!" (ok, I am not looking either!)Childish behaviour, yes. I have been successfully using it for at least 35 years! But after admitting my procrastination (and the technique) to said friend, well strangely enough, I felt compelled to clean house!!
In terms of procrastinating and craft, well I have a really bad habit of starting craft projects and then not finishing them. It doesnt come down to ability, hey even BP has said I am fearless when it comes to craft (which is a HUGE compliment coming from her!). And maybe I am when I start, but cant just manage to get it across the finish line. I will just ignore, even erase it from my memory. Pretend it did not exist so that I can not feel guilty.
So there it is. Guilt, an emotion no one likes, especially me. I am going to "out" myself, I will begin to list the things I am working on AND I will update you on how they are going.
But for today I am going to "out" myself about something else. Soulcradler, BP's good buddy was in Sydney for Easter. We had planned to catch up and a few things happened, nothing that was that momentous to stop our meeting, but it did. Or rather I let it stop us meeting. My being stubborn and not wanting to change other plans (and falling asleep on my couch while watching Buffy) meant that I missed meeting this gorgeous creature and may have upset the gorgeous BP (that is guilt and grovelling at it's finest!!). I feel I will have some 'xplaining to do, and some grovelling, and I know exactly how......... (stay tuned)
But for now, here is a litle something for Soulcradler, a congrats for her first term as a teacher. This one is for you!!
ps you may have guessed that my most successful procrastination technique is thinking too much and not doing......... got to work on that one!! :)
pps Need to follow Nora's advice and work on 1 project at a time. I know it's the right thing to do, it just feels so wrong!! :)