I have been doing quite a bit of thinking since Action Man moved to the other side of Oz. Dont worry this blog is not about to turn into an anti men rant. As my friends can atest, I have handled his departure quite well. I think it is because I am getting older. Or maybe, my lack of upsetness (is that a word) is because, deep down, I knew it wasnt going to work out.
I think I know why, or at least the reason why it wasnt going where I want a relationship to go. He wasnt an enabler. I need a co-dependant relationship. Before I hear howls of "No Shazmina, you sooooo dont need that", let me explain to you where I am coming from. I like doing things for the people I care about, I like looking after them. And I want to be in a relationship with a man who knows me so well, that he does things for me too. A man that is thoughtful. And I know they are out there, I have evidence.
ENABLER 1. Mr Bells was out one day and came accross a spinning wheel and was prepared to buy it for Bells. How cool is that!
ENABLER 2. Mr BP, amongst many cool things he does for BP, bought her a yarn winder for Xmas and Subversive Cross Stitch for her birthday. And he is even thoughtful about her friends, he is a good egg that one!
AND ENABLER 3. Mr OCC, because surely this woman will, sweep this man off his feet and propose to him. You see he made her knitting needles for Xmas. I am talking searching ebay for dowel, sand them down, create tips, lacquer them AND make FIMO tops for them. He even made little Xmas puddings (with each currant an individual piece of FIMO!). BUT WAIT THERE IS MORE!
He made these.
Yes, he made CIRCULAR NEEDLES! Mr OCC took the time to think about how to make them. AND he made a pair for a couple of OCC girlfriends! What a star!! How much more of an Enabler can you get?
So when I talk about a co-dependant relationship, what I really mean is that I am looking for one of those wonderful men that is an enabler. A man that has realised he cant compete with your craft. A man that has a "If you cant beat them ,join them attitude"!
And they are out there friends, and I will find one. That is the challenge I have set myself for 2007!!
5 comments:
ah Shaz, you've been very quiet on this subject. I didn't know you'd had Man Turmoil. Hugs. Sounds like you're doing ok.
My enabler has been well trained on the knitting issue but I knew he was a keeper early on when he told me I should try cooking. I couldn't. Or thought I couldn't. He encouraged me and I figured out I was good at it!
Today I was in a filthy, filthy mood. He told me to go and bake. I did. I felt better.
He's not perfect but i hope you get your enabler. You soooo deserve one.
In the meantime, I'm happy (as I'm sure BP and others are) to enable you as friends!
Bells
xoxoxox
Enabler's a nice way to put is Shaz.
(p.s. my trick is to bookmark things under titles like 'get this for Kristie for her birthday' hehehe.)
Shaz I wanted to tell you that on Saturday, Mr Bells and I were very, very short with each other. Not having a good day. When I read this late on Saturday night, I told him the next day that someone on the internet said he sounded like a good sort and that this made me think i should appreciate him more. So thanks for that little bit of marriage support. You rock. xoxo
JD decided to lecture me about what a wonderful boyfriend he was while I was cleaning the bathroom.
Do I need to add that didn't go down well...?
No!!! Co-dependancy sux (such class).
I mean, co-dependancy isn't exactly the best option here, for MANY reasons (none that come to mind at the moment).
Oh, I wish Mr BDKs had a brother...
Anyway, Helen is right, you've handled this like a trooper. I love strong women.
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